HeroDistrict

There have been numerous incarnations of the Hulk over the years. He started out gray, then he became green, sometimes he is smart, but usually not so much. One of my favorite versions of the Hulk is Joe Fixit. Basically he is every dickish aspect of Bruce Banner’s personality put into a giant gray Hulk body. Joe Fixit found his place in Las Vegas, where he worked as a sort of enforcer. He spent his days being paid to beat the crap out of people and spent his spare time hitting on the showgirls. In other words, Joe Fixit is awesome. The Hulk Classics toy line came out with a 6″ scale version of Joe Fixit that lives up to the reputation of the character. If you need a muscle bound Las Vegas thug to add to your toy collection, you can’t go wrong with this guy.

I have been sorting a lot of my comics recently and I came across a Transformers/G.I. Joe miniseries. It piqued my curiosity, so I sat down and read all six issues. It was a fairly entertaining story with the Joes and Autobots teaming up against Cobra Commander and the Decepticons. What really stood out was how badass Snake Eyes was. This silent ninja became one of my favorite characters of all time just because of this miniseries. The dude has his face turned into hamburger meat during a fight with Storm Shadow and can’t stop the bleeding. That sounds like it would be a good time for a tactical withdrawal to patch up before returning to the fight. Or, if you are the kind of guy who intimidates Chuck Norris, you set your face on fire to cauterize the wounds. I think you know which option Snake Eyes went with.

All this happened before he fought the giant robot dog.

Yes, Snake Eyes is literally face meltingly awesome. He also finds time to straight up stab a shark, which is way better than just using a can of shark repellant. This leads to the obvious question of who is more badass, Snake Eyes or Batman? If we are basing this off of shark encounters, Snake Eyes definitely wins. Otherwise, it’s a pretty close call. Let us know who you think the better man in black is in the comments section.

It has been unseasonably warm this fall, and it is kind of disappointing. I am used to a good amount of snowfall and chilly weather around this time of year, but so far it has remained jeans and t-shirt weather. Now I’m not much of a snow sport enthusiast, no skiing or snowboarding for this guy, but there are some perks of colder weather. The biggest benefit of cold weather is having an excuse to wear awesome one piece pajamas. I kind of want a blizzard to come through town just to use it as an excuse to get these pajamas.

The only home security system you need.

Yes, those are the most amazing pajamas in the history of pajamas. We will overlook things like how comfy it is sleeping with a cape and mask on, and just focus on the important stuff. You can go to bed as Batman. Nothing else needs to be said. This is one of the only pairs of pajamas I have ever seen that could be used to hide in shadows, stop crime, and go to sleep all in the same night. If you are ready to defend your city, or at least your bedroom, you can buy these pajamas at Spencer’s Online.

Or you can get Superman pajamas if the Batman ones are too manly for you.

Welcome back, readers! I hope that everybody who celebrates Thanksgiving had a great one, and everyone else just had a great Thursday. With Thanksgiving comes a celebration of gluttony as we all see how much food we can stuff in our bodies before we have to start undoing belt buckles. I’m sure some of you scoff at that notion, but not all of us can get away with wearing pants with elastic waistbands at family dinners. Today is the day that the food hangover really hits, though. Which one of these superheroes do you most feel like today?

Matter Eater Lad

Matter Eater Lad has the worst poops.

You ate everything in front of you, right? All your food was mixed together in a big pile on your plate, forming a mountain of deliciousness that you vacuumed down in minutes before getting up for seconds. There probably wasn’t even any leftover turkey for sandwiches today. Yet, somehow, you are still looking great in those jeans. What do you mean you lost 5 pounds? I gained 10 just looking at the desserts. Life isn’t fair.

Big Bertha

A remarkable transformation made every holiday season.

You ate much like Matter Eater Lad, but unfortunately it is starting to show today. Your pants feel just a little bit tighter today than they did on Monday. Is that the beginning of an extra chin? Don’t worry, a little exercise and you will soon be able to go out in public again without creating a solar eclipse with your mass.

Blob

You need to start wearing pants to these things.

I’m sorry, but you’re just fat. Your family had to cook an extra turkey just for you, and you still managed to eat enough that nobody else could get seconds. The sad part was you didn’t even know it was Thanksgiving, all your meals are like this. It’s kind of gross actually. Still, I will admit that I’m a little jealous that you eat entire turkey legs whenever you want and don’t feel guilty about it at all.

Superman

You’re still an illegal alien, you handsome bastard.

You probably woke up, played a friendly family football game, dominated it but with great sportsmanship. Then you went home, because you obviously hosted dinner, turned the game on your new 60″ flat screen tv and your friends helped themselves to the appetizers made by your part-time chef, part time supermodel wife. Hell, you probably took reasonable servings of everything, being careful of calories and sticking to your diet. You are the worst.

Robin has just been released as a playable character in Arkham City. Like there weren’t enough side missions and hidden trophies to keep you occupied as Batman or Catwoman. Now there is a brand new character to play as, with a whole new set of moves and 2 more challenge maps being added to the game. At this right, nobody will be able to get 100% completion before even more new material is added to the game. Luckily Arkham City is awesome enough that I wouldn’t mind playing through it with new characters from now until the next Batman game, possibly entitled Arkham Island or something.

Batman must beat Joker in the annual surf competition.

Robin is widely seen as a hindrance to Batman, since he is a kid going up against super-powered villains. That and the fact he wears bright yellow hot pants. This new Robin character design remembers that being stealthy is helpful in taking out guys twice your size, and that superheroes should look cool. There’s also an extra costume for Robin, allowing you to play as the Red Robin. Maybe we will get some Batgirl skins to download in the future. I won’t be truly excited until Alfred Pennyworth is a playable character, though.

Stopping crime in time for tea and crumpets.

We are getting close to the holiday season and, much like radio stations and convenience stores everywhere, I’m going to get in on the action a month early. As a special treat for Hero District readers, today’s review will cover three action figures for triple the Sunday dose. We will be looking at figures for Juggernaut, Lizard, and Iron Spider-Man. Obviously they were picked for their Christmas colors, Iron Spider-Man for red, Lizard for green, and Juggernaut for being awesome. They are all great characters, but how do the action figure representations stack up? Check out the video below and see if they would make a better gift for a friend or an enemy.

It’s a bad day to be a low selling comic at Marvel.  Dark Wolverine, X-23, Ghost Rider and Black Panther are all being put to the axe. This is coming on the heels of a number of cancellations for Iron Man 2.0, Alpha Flight and yet to be released projects about Dr. Doom and a new team called the Destroyers. Punisher MAX is also ending, but this was the natural conclusion of the series and it wasn’t actually cancelled. What gives?

With Wolverine in 200 titles, we didn’t need one about a younger version with 90′s Storm hair to go with his daddy issues.

First of all, none of these series were selling particularly well. Which isn’t much of a surprise. Most of this bunch were never really superstars. I can’t say I’m disappointed, since none of these series looked particularly appealing. Although it is possible that Marvel is tightening its belt, there is some speculation that the publisher is considering a reshuffling of some kind. I doubt it, since these are books were clearly struggling, but it’s a chance. So if your favorite book has lagging sales, keep your fingers crossed.

Batman is kind of an arrogant dude. It’s understandable, seeing how he is constantly putting the beat down on super powered villains and single handedly saving Gotham City. I imagine I’d have a bit of an ego too if I ever knocked out Superman. Batman has done it several times. What I’m trying to say here is that Batman kind of has a big head. Rocksteady Studios also realize this, and decided that there should be an option in Batman: Arkham City to see what Batman’s ego really looks like. As a result, we now have big head mode in Arkham City, reminding everyone of  Goldeneye on the Nintendo 64.

The giant head of justice.

It is pretty weird to see that comically oversized head in Arkham City. So much detail has been put into the character designs and environment that adding that big old melon makes everything subtly horrifying. It makes the game feel more like one big Scarecrow level, where you have to keep Batman’s opinion of himself from growing or else his head will explode. Yes, you can turn that into a mini-game Rocksteady, but I expect royalties. Still, these goofy little easter eggs are fun to find, especially if you have somehow completed all the side missions available, like solving the identity theft murders, tracking down the mysterious stranger and finding Poison Ivy. Or you could just tell me where that darn mysterious stranger is hiding, either or. If you want to know how to unlock the mutant offspring of Bruce Wayne and Donkey Kong, check out the video below.

Even though Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 was one of the best fighting games in recent memory, I initially wasn’t thrilled to dish out $40 on a glorified expansion pack.  Of course, I bought the damn game anyway after seeing the spectacular collection of new characters. Joining the game are Nova, Ghost Rider, Dr. Strange, Hawkeye, and the magnificent Rocket Raccoon. And some Capcom characters or something.

Hell. Yes.

All of these characters are firmly in Marvel’s B-list (or lower), but deserve much more. They’re all solid heroes with huge untapped potential, but are just missing that X-factor to push them into the spotlight.  Hopefully this game will be the first step in giving these characters the exposure they need to reach out to mainstream audiences.

Now you can harness the awesome power of rabies!

The game itself takes the same basic formula from the first and some polish. Each of the new characters has a unique playstyle and most are tons of fun.  Nova and Iron Fist are my favorites, and Ghost Rider is positively brutal.  There are some new game modes and challenges thrown in as well. I was shocked by how recent some of the costume and level additions are, such as Spider-Mans Future Foundation colors or the Shadowland stage. If you haven’t bought the original, this is a must get. If you loved the game and are looking for another chance to mash some buttons, the new content will satisfy you. Just don’t expect something dramatically different from the original.

The new Green Lantern animated series recently debuted on Cartoon Network, and I think I have another show I’ll be tuning in to. The many previews didn’t get me too excited for the premiere, but the first two episodes were actually quite entertaining. They weren’t on par with Batman the Animated Series or anything, but they definitely held my interest.

First off, I really dislike the animation style used. All the animation looks computer generated and is real blocky. It reminds me of the designs used for those Super Hero Squad toys. Everybody is kind of squat and chunky, and I’m just not a fan of the way it looks. I guess little kids like that style, as Super Hero Squad has been doing very well, so it does make sense that Cartoon Network would choose this design, especially since the show is geared toward a younger audience. Still, I don’t like it and little kids smell funny.

Now for the positives. I think they captured Hal Jordan’s personality just right. He’s arrogant, and a ladykiller. In the first episode alone he lays down the charm on Carol Ferris and woos a sentient AI system on a spaceship. That’s the Hal Jordan we all know and love. Most importantly, this rendition of Hal is also brave and heroic, breaking all sorts of rules, and skipping out on dates, to save his fellow Green Lanterns. The addition of Kilowog to the adventure was just icing on the cake. They were entertaining enough together to draw me into the episode.

Unfortunately there was a disappointing lack of Kilowog using the word “poozer”.

The story itself was also pretty enjoyable. Without giving too much away, the first two episodes deal with Green Lanterns patrolling the borders of their territory being killed by Red Lanterns. That’s right, the series opened with straight up murder. It was shown off screen, but there was no doubt that the Green Lantern was killed, which is definitely a bold move by a show marketed to a younger audience. I liked it. The only drawback is that I couldn’t take the Red Lanterns too seriously as villains because they looked so adorable, especially Zilius Zox. He didn’t look like a killer, unless he cuddled that Green Lantern to death. Still, Hal and Kilowog decided to hunt down the Red Lanterns, not everything goes according to plan, and they die too. Alright, I made that last part up, but you’ll just have to watch the episode yourself if you want to find out what happens.

The adorable Zilius Zox actually eats everybody.

It’s not a great show, but you won’t hate yourself for watching it. If you are already a fan of Green Lantern you should definitely check it out. If you’re not, it’s still pretty fun. The official score of the premiere episodes is a 6/10. There’s definitely room for improvement, but it shows promise.